Monday, December 19, 2011


Well, nothing this week, again.  My good feeling was premature, I guess.  And I harassed four different friends to join me on excursions, so it wasn't for lack of effort on my part, but times are tough right now, it seems.  Holidays are hectic.  At least that's my excuse for them and I'm sticking to it, because I just know this will kick in at some point.  Honestly, I think I'm venturing out less these last few weeks than ever here.  So I know that it's possible.  Just, I've got to be patient.

I was so close to not even writing today because, I mean, nothing happened.  I'm really determined to have some real life experiences to speak of, like fun stuff, but it's slow going. However, the plan was to post once a week, and I will not deter.  No sir, I will not.  

So, listen.  This is the best I've got.  I went to Whole Foods yesterday with Bethany to get sandwiches, as we often do (I know, awesome story).  Need I say, it's like my own little Mecca.  Always has been from my days in college in Boulder when we'd go during lunchtime and take what we called the sample tour for lunch.  Ah, god, college, Boulder, don't get me started, those were the days.  Learning and freedom, two of my favorite things.  Yet, though I reminisce a lot, I will never be one of those people who thinks the best days of my life are behind me.  The best days of my life are now and they just keep spilling forth.

In any case, this was a good trip to the market as I finally figured out where they stash the $1.99 wine.  On Thanksgiving I found a $6.99 bottle of wine and when I was checking out, the cashier that I've always had a secret crush on told me he thinks the $1.99 wine is better.  I was shocked that they even sold wine that cheap and was determined to find it on my next visit, but I looked high and low to no avail.  And I had the same cashier and told him that he needs to show me where they keep that business the next time I come in.  But then he wasn't there on my next trip, so I scoured and scoured. No luck.  

Yesterday, though, I found it.  It's by the sandwich counter.  Sneaky.  Not even in the wine section.  So you've got to know where it is to get the deal of the century.  I feel like I'm in a secret club now.  I don't know what that club is, exactly.  Probably not the most honorable society.  Cheap winos, that would be my first guess.  But hey, it's a hearty crew, until I can graduate and afford the pricier stuff.

Now, I say nothing happened this past week.  But that's selling life short.  There's kind of always something happening and it's always pretty amazing to me.  Just being here, experiencing it.  It's a lot.  

I marvel at this world, I really do.

I mean, seriously, what dream is this life? How is this possible? I had a dream that I was on a huge ball of soil and rock and water and trees but it was completely suspended, unhinged, and spinning really fast. Only, I wasn't stuck to it, but could move around and walk and dance and skip and run. And I was with other people and could even have secret crushes on some of them and some I just loved so much and didn't know why but we just got along and my life was better because of them.  And I felt so much, so much all of the time, with every new day.  

And sometimes, the sky was bright pink and golden and just got brighter and brighter and then sometimes it was coral and pale blue and shining goodbye and then it turned dark and black but speckled with small spots of light all over.  And one big spot of light changed shape and grew and shrunk over time.  And as I watched it, I changed shape too, I grew and altered and everyone else changed too.  I didn't understand it, but I loved it all the same.

Really, this preposterous, magnificent life…what dream is this?  Sometimes I think I could do nothing forever and still be amazed by it.  But, I think tomorrow I am actually booked to go out into the world of LA with a friend.  You know, at this point, I'm not counting the eggs just yet, but I think so.  I do. 

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